My Kid’s First Rant = Parenting Fail

Oh yes, you read the title right. His first rant. Ever. He’s 5-years-old. And it’s totally my fault.

Yesterday, my mother came over to visit so I could go to an appointment. At one point, Connor wanted to go get something, but as I already had one in the room, I called to him to stop. He kept going. And going. Even though I called him repeatedly. This is been an area of contention for us, as he definitely knows better. He just seems to backtrack every now and then since his little brother was born. He’s re-testing his boundaries.

I gave him a warning, which he proceeded to ignore, so I went to him and said, “I think you need a time out buddy. Mamma called you several times and you still didn’t come when you were called.”

Naturally there was much protesting, and he tried (unsuccessfully) to avoid sitting at the bottom of the steps like he’s supposed to. First, he tried around the corner from where we were so we simply couldn’t see him. Next it was on the bench around the corner from the stairs. Finally, he tried climbing the outside of the steps – anything to avoid sitting where he knew he should be. I was so not loving the situation. This is a kid who used to sit in a timeout in the middle of a family gathering because he knew he was supposed to stay there, and now he’s pulling this on me?

I finally made it clear to him that if he didn’t sit in the timeout on the stairs like he’s supposed to, that he would have to start his timeout all over, and rejoined my mother in the den with the baby.

Suddenly, we hear from the foot of the stairs…

“I just want to stay with my mamma! I don’t want to go to school because it’s boring! Why can’t I stay in the den with mamma?”

“I don’t like timeouts! I want to play with my Legos!”

“I hate school!”

“I don’t want turkey for dinner! I want a hot dog or cold chicken!” (cold chicken is kid-speak for frozen chicken)

On and on he went.

“It’s not fair!” (OMG, I hate that one!)

My mother and I were doing our absolute best not to pee ourselves and not to let him know that we were trying not to laugh.

After he was done with his timeout, we all went into the kitchen to have some amazing butternut squash based coffee cake and chit chat. We were talking about how my sister used to pull this same kind of crap, how her daughter is now doing it to her, and how I never did.

Wait…what? In thinking about our conversation this morning, I realized that I really didn’t do that as a kid. So why the hell is mine doing it now?

I have never been good about hiding my feelings. You can read them on my face as if I have them tattooed across my forehead. But, I am always aware of this, and turn my face away from the boys if I’m steaming mad at hubby or if mum said something that made me upset.

Then it dawned on me. He was emulating a horrible habit I picked up from hubby. If I’m looking for something and can’t find it…I ask the “air” why it can’t put things back where they belong. Or why it can’t empty the trash. UGH. And this is a habit I seriously hate of my husband’s. I have no idea when I picked it up, but it is stopping right now.

* Sorry the pic isn’t Connor – I don’t have any of him in that teary, angry moment.

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Cups and Rings and Walmart – Oh My!

I took the boys food shopping at Walmart on Sunday, even though it’s something I usually avoid. I’m sure you’ve all seen what a mob scene Walmart can be on a Sunday afternoon – especially on a long weekend.

Well, Lee had worked two full weekends in a row, plus the Saturday before our little shopping escapade, so I figured I would be a nice little wife and give him a couple of hours at the house without the usual kid craziness.

As we were rounding the corner of one of the food aisles, I noticed a Walmart employee giving out granola bar samples, so I parked the cart, and walked the two steps to the little cart that had been set up. When I looked back at the cart, there was an enormous guy cooing at Kyle.

Naturally, my super-mommy instincts kicked in, so I grabbed Connor’s hand and rushed back to the cart.

When this grizzly-bear-of-a-man saw Connor, his face lit up, and he leaned over and started chattering with my 5-year-old, who looked as if he was being approached by the giant, stinky, Troll that almost got Hermione in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

After a few minutes of cheerful chit-chat, Connor started coming out of his shell, and was looking at the man’s hand. The man had on what at first appeared to be a class ring…

He leaned over, asked Connor if he knew what it was, and that’s when I saw it. It was white gold, covered in diamonds, and very large…

We were speaking to a Stanley Cup Champion!

He leaned way over, took off the ring, and asked Connor if he wanted to try it on…and poor Connor, completely oblivious to the significance of this nice man’s gesture, declined. Not wanting to put undue pressure on my son, I brushed it off, saying “it’s okay, you don’t have to if you don’t want to”, and continued chatting to who I would later find out was Terry O’Reilly – the retired Boston Bruin and Stanley Cup Champion. Apparently, I was so wrapped up with how charmed he was by my boys that I totally forgot to ask him his name, for an autograph, or for a picture. The only reason I’m pretty sure of who it was we had met is because I messaged my brother-in-law (who collects and sells sports memorabilia) on Facebook and asked him who it was. It hadn’t even occurred to me what had happened until we had gotten in the truck to go home!

Well, at least I can tell the boys about it when they grow up.


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