Worst Week EVER!

Okay, we all know that having a five-year-old with a stomach bug is bad.

Well, my kid just got over a Monster-Stomach-Bug-From-Hell.

Not 24 hours…or even 72 hours. A full week of diarrhea, vomiting and crying over stomach cramps. This poor kid couldn’t even keep Pedialyte down for more than ten minutes.

All things considered, he was very good. He only cried if it really hurt, he would tell you as soon as he had a mess in his pull-up (yes, we switched back temporarily), and if he could help it, he would vomit into a bucket we kept in whatever room he was in. Even switching back to underwear wasn’t a problem.

Now for the really fun part…

About halfway through Connor being sick, Daddy got the bug. OH YAY. Any woman reading this knows full well how the most manly-man can instantly morph into a huge baby the second he’s got anything wrong with him. So, for the past four days, I’ve had to listen to how bad he’s got it and his stomach hurts, blah, blah, blah. Needless to say, he didn’t clean up a single instance of vomit or poop while Connor was sick.

Connor’s first day back at school was yesterday, and shortly before he got home, I started feeling funny. Not nauseated or anything, just a little…off.  I chalked it up to being up all week with a sick kid and a new baby. (Thankfully, Kyle – who is two months old – has avoided catching this awful thing.)

By the time he got home, I was feeling weak and cold – NOT GOOD. Got him in the house and settled, and took my temperature (my mom bought me the temporal thermometer – the thing rocks!). This one deserves another OH YAY…102.8.

Lee came home, and actually let me wrap myself up in blankets and go to bed for a couple of hours, made a bunch of bottles, then got me some of the stuff I needed – cold facecloth, etc. When I made the mistake of asking him to remind me when it was time to take my Tylenol…he said “I’ve been busting my ass since I got home so you could sleep. You’re asking an awful lot you know”.

Mind you – this is the first time I’ve really been knocked on my ass from being sick since Connor was born five years ago.

Can I shoot him now???

Anyway – the only thing you can do for your kid if they catch this horrible bug is to make sure they get plenty of Pedialyte. I even made popsicles with it and added a speck of Jello powder just for flavoring!

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Mastercard Wedding

Okay, I’ve just got to blog about this…

I got this in an email, and it’s supposedly verified by Snopes, and Jay Leno supposedly mentioned it on his show.

Mastercard Wedding

This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.

After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.

He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride’s and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone’s chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8×10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had  hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests’ reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, ‘F—you!’ Then he turned to his bride and said, ‘F— you!’ Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, ‘I’m outta here.’ He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge–making the bride’s parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride’s and best man’s reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard ‘priceless’ commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.

Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000

Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.

The look on everyone’s face when they see the 8×10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.

There are some things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s MASTERCARD

Yes, this is funny, but I would never – especially after the shock of discovering the affair – have thought to go through with the scheme, never-mind how embarrassed I would have been about the whole thing. As far as I’m concerned, this shows an unhealthy level of scheming, spitefulness and revenge on the part of the groom.

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