Damned Dinosaurs!

Dear Subconscious,

Please stop fucking with me.




Have you ever had a dream, then woken up completely pissed off at your husband?

Yep, I thought so. Happened to me last night.

I dreamed that we were living in an area that had a curious mix of farmland and rolling hills. A small, but spread out town, where everyone knew each other, and most people got along well. Sounds pretty nice, doesn’t it?

Yeah. Until a fucking dinosaur shows up and starts killing people and smashing people’s houses to hell. Then, you go to run away in your handy-dandy 4×4 V8 pickup truck, only to find out that your husband traded it for some lame-ass RV thing because he wanted to go on a long family trip.

Fun stuff, huh?

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Gender Wars

Yesterday was our 11th Wedding Anniversary. After getting ready for bed, we were lying down, just holding hands and chit-chatting…as I swung our hands back and forth between us.

I almost inadvertently smacked Lee in the nose, so I changed the direction of my swinging and said, “sorry – didn’t mean to almost jam your finger up your nose!”.

Hubby then proceeded to take his finger and ram it as far up his nose as he could, which we both laughed at, and continued talking. I was looking at the ceiling and talking about how much more sense it makes for me to take a double-major rather than merely minoring in Marketing – as I would only be four classes short of the 2nd major requirement, when hubby swung our hands close to his face again.

What ran through my mind? “Oh, how sweet – he’s going to kiss my hand!” As my hand arced ever closer to his face, I realized what was really going on. My thought instantly changed to – “Oh, that fucker! He’s going to try to jam my finger up his nose!”

And…I was right. I looked at him, and we both burst out laughing…

He said “you’re going to write about this tomorrow, aren’t you.” To which I replied, “damn straight!”

Lessons learned? Ladies, never trust your first instinct about what a man may be up to – chances are pretty good that it’s going to involve something gross. Gentlemen, always be aware that your blogging wife needs fodder to write about, and that she and her friends laugh their asses off at you!